


On Appropriate Remuneration For Mortal Peril

by blythechild



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Drabble, Fluff, Gen, Kidnapping, Laughter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-31
Updated: 2013-10-31
Packaged: 2017-12-31 02:20:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1026139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blythechild/pseuds/blythechild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reid explains his perspective on the dangers of working for the B.A.U.</p><p> </p><p>This is a work of fanfiction and as such I do not claim ownership over the characters herein. It was created as an entertainment. This story is suitable for all audiences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On Appropriate Remuneration For Mortal Peril

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a drabble fill from a prompt on the comment_fic community on Livejournal. It is ridiculous - you've been warned.

"If anyone had bothered to inform me about the increased level of mortal danger involved in this job, I would have told the Bureau to shove their offer. I'm an academic, for chrissakes." Blake huffed as she dropped into the chair behind her desk.

She was cranky; she had shot at someone today.

"At the very least, you should have asked for more generous compensation." Reid rambled around a mouthful of chocolate. "That's what I did after I was kidnapped for the fourth time..."

" _Fourth?_ "

Reid looked up in alarm, as if he couldn't fathom why she was so incredulous.

"Reid gets kidnapped a lot." Morgan smiled and leaned against Blake's desk. "If it wasn't so disturbing, we could almost turn it into a drinking game."

Reid shot Morgan a calculating look, popped two more pieces of chocolate into his mouth, and went back to his paperwork.

"What aren't we turning into a drinking game?"

Everyone turned at _the sound_ of Hotch's scowl. The man could sneak around like a ninja but his look of disapproval could be heard from anywhere in the building.

"Reid's penchant for being a kidnapping victim..." Morgan reiterated.

"I object to the term 'victim'." Reid was waving a instructive finger at them all. "Sometimes you have to put yourself in harm's way to achieve your goals."

"Are you saying that you've _allowed_ yourself to be kidnapped on occasion?"

Morgan and Blake were giving him tandem we-know-you-are-a-genius-but-that-doesn't-mean-you-are-not-crazy looks. Even Hotch leaned in a little and crossed his arms, clearly not buying what Reid was selling.

"Listen, guys, I'm not saying that I'm volunteering to be kidnapped. I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths."

That stopped the conversation in it's tracks.

Hotch went stone-faced and rigid as if he were having a heart attack. "Excuse me."

The others watched as he calmly climbed the stairs to his office, and closed the door behind him. There was a beat of silence and then the miraculous sound of muffled laughter. Reid, Blake and Morgan looked at each other with undisguised shock, and then they all scrambled up the stairs to huddle around the closed door to listen as their boss completely lost his cool.


End file.
